Beginning of motherhood

The first two weeks after delivery went like a breeze. The first few days in the hospital was filled with anxiety and elation. We would jump at every small whimper and cry. Sometimes he would cry incessantly and I just couldn’t figure out why. It would either be a wet diaper, gas or that he’s hungry again. It sounds simple, but trust me it’s hard to figure out which one. We eagerly waited for him to open his eyes. When he did, we talked to him, made sounds, smiled at him and we said we loved him very much. That ‘I love you’ was very different and had a new meaning with emotions hard to articulate (At least for me)

After I got home, all I remember doing was nursing Nikith. Venu would burp him and change the diapers. As I was drugged with painkillers and sleep deprived, it was impossible for me to be alert. Initially, the adrenaline kept me up. But as it weaned off, it was extremely hard to cope, being new mommy and all. Everything other than the baby seemed utterly insignificant except for our renewed relationship as husband and wife, which transcended overnight.

Our son was like this new toy, procured after 9 months of hard work. It was exhilarating! We dressed him up, we took plenty of pictures, we talked about him all the time to everybody and I would dream of all the things we could do together. Oh, Sweet dreams they are!

Venu’s paternity was over and panic took over for sometime. I had gotten used to Venu being around, burping, diapering, trying to keep me awake, and all of a sudden he wasn’t there anymore. This irked me and I would curse God for going so easy on men.

I would be locked in my bedroom all day and night nursing, burping, diapering and if my son showed some mercy, napping. This was my introduction to motherhood. I thought, all this is going to pass and I’m gonna get back to my normal life, except, that was my new normal life… and I’m getting used to it.